I'm feeling, for a lack of a better word, detached from it all. I gave away two of my bunnies, Nessa and Napoleon, today. It all happened so fast that I didn't really even have time to process the pain of probably never seeing the animals I raised for three (in Nappy's case four) years again.

I wasn't even that emotionally attached to Napoleon–not like Sally or Jack. Nevertheless, driving away from the house without really saying a word and just having to go on about my business just made me feel lost about things. What's become of my life? I mean, I know I had to graduate and that one day my life with my bunnies would fade, whether by them dying or by giving them away, but now that it's happening, I don't know how to feel.

Taking care of the rabbits since my main bunny Sally's death has felt like something of a chore rather than a pleasure. I don't show them anymore. I don't have time and I'm too old to enter the showmanship at fair. Quite frankly, the bunnies were too old as well. Sally was like my rock. We didn't always get along–she had quite an attitude–but she was so well trained and such a good mama bunny. When she died, my love for rabbit care died with her.

More so, in order to have time to myself, I needed to give them up. Still, I was known as "rabbit woman" by my FFA friends in high school. Hell, I had to basically rescue my rabbits from my dad when I was in high school, since he threatened to starve them to get me to come back to him! It's hard to imagine them being gone now.

For now, I've still got Jack. But he needs a home–one that can care for a rabbit entering his final years (even months) very soon. Meanwhile, I'll continue to feel detached…just to get by.


…I have nothing to say about my art right now. Working on my final portfolio. It won't be here for a couple weeks, I'm sure.